I wanted to prove a point and say that my first beer was a lot like this Tiny Toons episode. So please watch it first. I’ll wait, for I’m just text on a website.
Done?
Ok. So my first beer was at the age of about 12 years old. I was kinda the king of my block, back in the day in a suburb of San Francisco. I was the oldest kid by a couple of years and I went to school in San Francisco. Both earned me a lot of respect. So one day I went over to my friends house, let’s call him Raz. Raz’s mom was divorced and was seeing some dude with long black hair who had moved in with them and wanted to be everyone’s bro. He showed me his electric guitar once and told me that if he put all the tuning pegs to a 90 degree angle the guitar would always stay in tune (big no-no if you really play the guitar). He had a bench press setup and all that in the garage already. I gotta say as a 12 year old I was pretty impressed. I remember how totally cool he was when he found out that I had been making out with Raz’s cousin in Raz’s mom’s room (to “Ain’t No…” by Jay Z of all songs).
Ok I’m getting off track. One summer, Raz’s mom’s boyfriend was totally supposed to be watching Raz but fell asleep so we stole one of his Coors Lights and rode our bikes to our favorite bike path which we called “The Quick Pick”. I loved The Quick Pick. It was a dirt path from one side of a street to the highway by the beach and had all these little hills where you could pop a good wheelie and get some solid air. When it got muddy it was a real mess. We were out in the middle of the Quick Pick (also where we once found a homeless man and ran away scared), and we opened up the Coors Light. Each of us took a sip and nobody liked it. We were afraid of being caught with it, so we threw it as far as we could in the bushes. If our buddy’s older brother Ryan had been there, I’m sure we woulda drank the whole thing because Ryan had already gone to Juvi for drinking and that was VERY influential to our growing up. But Ryan wasn’t there so we chucked the beer and rode on. Kinda like the Tiny Toons cartoon. The end.